10 things that will definitely happen if Jose Mourinho really does bring Mesut Ozil to Manchester United

It couldn't actually happen… could it?
A rumour linking Mesut Ozil with a free transfer move
to Manchester United next summer emerged from the
Arsenal star's homeland in September, and now there
are reports Ozil will snub Arsenal's contract offer and
wants to join Jose Mourinho at Old Trafford.
It would be a move so seismic, it's hard to believe it's
a possibility… but in many ways, it kind of makes
sense.
Mourinho managed Ozil at Real Madrid, there is a
clear mutual respect between the two of them , and it
might just be a deal that suits all parties. All parties
except Arsenal, of course.
But what would happen if the quite sensational free
transfer did take place?
Well, these seven things.
1. Manchester United fans would
immediately regret a *lot* of tweets
they've sent over the years
2. Ozil would go from being seen as a
lazy, luxury player to a Mourinho-type
workhorse overnight, even growing a
couple of inches somehow
3. United fans would suddenly
become obsessed with "pre-assists" -
(it's the assist before the assist,
yeah, and Ozil is great at them, does
them all the time, ask literally any
Arsenal fan and they'll tell you. At
length.)
4. Affected by the loss of one of the
players they enjoy ranting about the
most, Arsenal Fan TV's viewing
figures suffer a severe drop
5. After giving his number 9 shirt up
for Zlatan Ibrahimovic last summer,
Anthony Martial will have to hand
over his number 11 shirt too
6. Back at Arsenal - where they're
also set to lose Alexis Sanchez on a
free transfer next summer as it
stands - Arsene Wenger's attempts to
claim that everything is "FINE! JUST
FINE!" would leave him coming
across like Comical Ali
7. And having got another one over
his old nemesis, Mourinho's broad,
smug smile would be even broader
and smugger than usual
8. With Sanchez also leaving, there
will never be a better time to be Alex
Iwobi
9. Conversely, losing his Manchester
United place to Ozil might make Juan
Mata sad for the very first time
10. And as for Ozil himself, he can
look forward to a new life of being
United's headline-grabbing, world-
class new attacking midfield addition
for whom absolutely nothing can go
wrong...
Could the move really happen
though?

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